Pretty French Girl Embraces The Ugly

Pretty French Girl

Ya! We don’t know if pretty girl is french, but if you know your flags there’s definitely some french in her.

Now that we are on the subject of french, lets dust of the old parleur and learn some.

Pretty in french is: joli

Yeah, kinda like Angelina Jolie. Makes sense.

Stuff a trés in front and you get trés joli. That’s ‘very pretty’

We’re gonna go out on a limb here and claim french girl is trés joli – in the left picture.

The right picture is a different bunch of baguettes. Ugly comes to mind – the kind we love.

Ugly in french is: laid

Putting it all together. Our french girl is joli laid.

Say that in a posh british accent and a whole other meaning appears.

Today’s french tutoring is over.

Wednesday Addams soul eating cousin

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We all remember The Addams Family and the cute, but morbid girl, Wednesday Addams played by Christina Ricci.

Well, here’s her cousin; pretty but soul munching. We advise you to not stare at the picture for too long. At the most 2 seconds at a time. Or you may suffer the consequences, equivalent to saying Candyman 5x into the mirror – it will come to haunt you.

 

Lazy Eye Invents New Mouth Frown

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You ever wondered how many muscles it takes to smile?

Well, it depends how high on Prozac (an anti-depressant) you are. But lets for the sake of argument compare the smile to the one everyone gets stroking a fluffy white bunny.

Try it out. Use your imagination. Stroke our imaginative bunny. Yeah, feels nice doesn’t it. There! That’s the smile we want.

You see, it feels good smiling. It comes with ease and it releases those happy-generating serotonin. Anytime you’re feeling down, stroke that bunny.

So now that we understand all about smiling, what about frowning. Well, it takes more muscles than the number of bones in your body to plaster that scowl on your face.

Constant frowning does have its upside. One uses a lot of energy straining those muscles and keeping those wrinkles in place. Consequently frowning is now being considered one of the top ways to lose weight.

Try it out. Frown like someone just stole your last cookie. Can you feel it? It’s hard isn’t it! Imagine all those calories being burnt, all that flab evaporating into the cosmos.

Maybe you didn’t notice, but that is why you’ll often see people on the chubby side of the scale frowning like mad – not because they’re angry or discontent about their existence – no, it is a result of taking action on the Frown-Diet, that miraculously shreds 2 lbs a day.

A word of caution. One has to be careful about permanent wrinkles because they don’t rub off and with time do literally stick to your face. There’s a fix for it though; called Botox. However, a solution is not without side effects. Going under the surgical syringe may ironically disturb facial nerves leaving the patient incapable of smiling.

 

Pretty Girl Converts To Alien

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And in Alien News

The latest in alien news is a pretty girl from Somewhere, who got sucked into an alien UFO laser beam, upon which she was asked. Would you prefer the Kim Kardashian Sit-On-Africa heinie or a Total Aliens Makeover? Who can blame the girl for not causing more suffering to the continental cradle of mankind. We can’t keep her in Isolation. She has to be known to the world. Not as a Warning, but as an inspiration for all of us mortals to aspire to. She will star in a movie one day and due to her gentle nature we don’t even have to call on Sigourney Weaver for a kick-ass session.

 

Yep, Pretty Ugly Approved

Yep pretty ugly

Breaking News: Pretty girls hear them all the time. Ugly girls hear them too. And they work. On both. What are we talking about? Pick up lines of course. So next time you’re out and your brain is confused about whether to go for the pretty or the ugly. Have faith almighty bro/sis. Don’t worry. You can have them both. See. they are most likely the same person. Every coin has two sides. Heads and Tails. 

Confused? You should be. Cause it ain’t easy figuring this stuff out. But there is help. You can get anyone you want. With the right pick up lines in your arsenal. Handle with care though. You want to see the light of day tomorrow too.